"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks." - Totie Fields
So last week was supposed to be my start of a new way of eating, exercising, and living. Yeah, that so didn't happen. Not that the whole week was me eating that badly.....ok I take that back. Eating homemade cream cheese frosting in the morning before going to work is not a healthy breakfast. Nor is eating cookies for lunch cuz there wasn't anything for me to make the night before except cookies. Nor is having my boyfriend go back to my house to grab my running shoes and to not run at all. I don't even remember drinking water last week. I think I've been drinking sodas, hot chocolates, and juices. No wonder I'm feeling so gross!
You see, I'm currently staying at my friend, J's house while he's gone on a month or more long trip around the country. He's left me in charge to walk his dog and feed the cat. Well, I gotta feed the dog too. And to just keep things in order while he's gone. His place is closer to work and I'll have the place to myself so I can pretty much do whatever, except throw lavish or intense parties. So I figured that this would be a chance for me to get started with the whole overhaul of eating habits and make some life style changes. Of course, it didn't happen that way.
The only excuse I can give myself is that I got waylaid. I did not get lazy, but I did get frustrated. Since I've been staying at J's house I never expected him to stock the fridge and cupboards with food. As granola and health fanatic that J is (he's got a juicer, several juicing books, fresh herbed teas, flaxseed and all these vitamins) he really left me in a slight bind. He left me with turkey burgers, but no bread. He left me with 2 things of frozen salmon, but no rice. I know this sounds like I'm making excuses and I could easily just buy the extra ingredients, but ever since my job change I've been experiencing lack of funds. I've been playing catch up with my bills and stuff since I started the new job in July. Now that I'm finally caught up and can rest easy with the next paycheck, I dont' exactly paid til this coming Friday. Again, it's all excuses, I know. But it's still frustrating regardless when I can't think of a solution right away. Even tho I grabbed food and other stuff from my place I still didn't have enough to do much of anything except bake.
I've also been hitting an emotional roller coaster of sorts. Good friends passing away as of late. Friends and family just facing tough decisions all around. It really sucks. I'm having a hard time coping with it all. Food has been a little bit of comfort, but I will honestly say that, besides the frosting binge, I have not lost complete control of my eating habits. When I bake, I share. I share to a point where my coworkers need to go on diets cuz I keep on feeding them.
So, here's to a new clean slate. Here's to another start. This time I'm going to stick with it. I've got to do the baby steps right now, but I am going to get there. And once I start there's really no stopping me except myself.
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