Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Here I come to save the day......

The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow. - HG Wells

So over the weekend it was Halloween. Becca and I dressed up as X-Men superheroes. Bec was Rogue and I was Psylocke. We went around the whole city with our zombie friend Tiffani, going to house parties, loft parties, clubs and bars. We didn't get home til pretty much 6 in the morning the next day. It was great fun to get a chance to be someone else for a night and not be me. I was Psylocke, the psychic ninja! I possess telepathic and telekinesis powers. I'm vicious with a kitana sword. I can fight and win over injustice and empower all evil things that go around me. Like I said, it was a great night!

Now, back to reality. Last Thursday, after working an 8 day stretch and a 10 hour shift at work, I'm on my way walking thru the tunnels of the building that I work in while reading my text messages. I received quite a few texts from my family saying that I had to call my cousin Robin's girlfriend Jennifer right away. I then noticed that I missed a few phone calls from my other cousin Jay's wife Aive. So I call her right away. As I'm getting into Vince's car, I'm talking to Aive and she's telling me that Robin suffered two strokes, one on each side of his brain. They are in the process of getting him on a Flight for Life to another hospital that specializes in stroke victims that's in Milwaukee (he orginally was in McHenry) and that the doctors were telling the family that things aren't looking good and that he might not make it. Vince, being the greatest boyfriend of all time, made the decision as I was losing control to drive out to Milwaukee.

During the drive I know I had to have been babbling on with stories of Robin when we were growing up. I know I must have been nagging him too to take better care of himself because I know that I couldn't bare to go through this with him. Then I started getting worried that Vince hasn't eaten dinner yet, he has to work early in the morning the next day, I forgot to make reservations for a birthday party for Vince at one of his favorite restaurants, I still have to finish getting stuff for my costume, OMG! Halloween.....how are we gonna do this???? He was very calm and told me that we'll come to it when it gets there. right now I need to concentrate on being strong for my family.

At this point I'm getting really tired of being strong for anyone. When Vicki died, I had to be strong for Aive. She was hurting the most. When my aunt in the Philippines died, I had to be strong for my Dad. He didn't even want to talk about it for a long time. Now that Becca's cancer came back, I had to be strong for our friends to make sure that they know that she's going to be ok or to start to nag her about stuff. When Wawa suffered her stroke earlier this year, I had to be strong for the family and help them get through this whole ordeal. It's a great pain in the ass to be the strong one all the time. When do I get a chance to be the weak one?

So, I've been driving back and forth, from Chicago to Milwaukee, this whole weekend. I was able to give my boyfriend the birthday party that he deserved and still went out to fight crimes and have fun with friends. Some time during my whole existence of being numb, mad, worried, sad, and losing control these past few days, I remembered that life goes on and that no one would want me to stop living. Even if it's for a day. Even if it's for a few hours. Yes, I had to be strong. Not because someone always has to be the strong one, but because I finally realized that life will go on regardless of what happens. It's up to us to figure out how we live it, regardless of the situation.

As of today, things are starting to look better with Robin's condition. We're still in this vicious waiting game, to see how much of Robin's memory and body function is gone. The doctors gave us some good prognoses. We just have to wait and see and go on his body's time clock for now.

I want to take this time to thank all the friends that have been there for me through out this whole ordeal. You guys are the greatest! Thank you for the prayers, happy thoughts, good mojo and juu juu, and just letting me text, vent, talk it out, and cry. You guys helped me out so much.

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